In Praise of Siabreen !

I have probably Hated Siabreen for longer than I Loved her.
Yet,today,I remembered instances of Love.
(I would like to be able to think of her that way,all the time.)

Siabreen was a kind,gentle soul,who would do anything for anybody.
She was very supportive to her brother,Adam,when he had a yeast problem following his divorce from his first wife.
Even though,Adam thought that Siabreen was an idiot,refusing to call her by her new name and generally abusing her when he was drunk.
Siabreen and I,allowed him to stay in our house in Welshpool,while he dried out.
Oh the times I had to bite my tongue,when he reared on her!

When Alison became pregnant,Siabreen got on a plane and put her life on hold,so she could support her sister.
Where were you,Alison,when Siabreen and I suffered several miscarriages ?
Oh yes.Too busy playing the Princess in New York with your in-laws!

Lois-only you know the depths of support Siabreen had for the family.
I remember her weeping many times when you had breast cancer.The letters and phone calls that went on long into the night.
She loved you greatly.

Marion,the mother she worshipped.
Even returning to London to support you in your retirement.
What memories did Siabreen have of you and her childhood years?
The cries of Plain Jane ringing in her ears.
Shame !

To Marion - Siabreen's Mother

This message is for Marion Wills,mother to Siabreen.

Can you remember being invited to Grace's NAMING,in Somerset,by Siabreen and myself ?

I asked the group to join me in reciting the Lord's Prayer.

You and your family were invited to help celebrate Siabreen's and I happiness at the birth of OUR daughter.

Such a joyful event.By the Grace of God,remember !

Have you lived upto the vows you took that day ?
Do you truly believe that Adam and Alison are acting in the best wishes of that special day ?

Help me HEAL this madness.

I will never forbid your family from Grace.
As you have forbid her from me.
I could/would never do that.

Please remember and allow me contact with my daughter.

MyModblog. Where I started blogging.

adamfairclough's ModBlog

I first met Sarah Jane Fairclough,in Gwynedd,North Wales.
She then changed her name to Siabreen.

She was bi-sexual then and I met her through my good friend,at the time, Melfyn Summers.
Melfyn was shagging one of Siabreen's ex-lovers-Ali.

Now theres a tale...!
After I left Siabreen,Melfyn rang me for the first time in about 3 years.I thought it strange but trusted him+spoke honestly about why I had left.It transpires that during our conversations he was taping me.Setting me up so it sounded really bad.
Why did you do that Melfyn??Oh yes,a threesome with Siabreen+Ali.Cheap really as I was one of the people who picked you up after you killed your wife in a car crash.One call from him lasted 3 hours!!I remember saying yes to you because I was tired+hurting and pissed off.You knew she was violent yet you supported her in keeping me from Grace.WANKER.

Melfyn Summers.
Of everyone involved in this bloody mess,I have felt more contempt for you,than anyone else.
I now Forgive you,completly.And I am free.


7/4/05 For Grace My Stolen Child
At 6 months Siabreen started to bleed. The baby had died.Because she was so far along,Siabreen had to deliver the dead baby in Bangor Hospital,Gwynedd. We were left alone in a room for 12 hours.The only time a Nurse came near us was when I demanded Pethadine for Siabreens pain. The poor girl was off her head with the pain and drugs.I held her over a bedpan+helped her deliver bloodied clots of fles> 0

7/2/05
For the first couple of years,Siabreen held my hand.Helping me deal with some major issues in my life. Including forgiveness-she kicked me out one week so she could shag her oap friend from London-John. Amazingly,I could forgive her. We were both learning+started to teach others.Then Siabreen fell pregnant. She went into fear,having already suffered a miscarriage when she was younger. I was fearle> 0

7/2/05
We met at a party on Angelsey. She gave me flirtatious looks and cocaine. Sarah/Siabreen was just getting into Rebirthing and Personal Growth work. So began an amazing relationship. She changed her name to Siabreen.A name given to her by,she believed,her Gaurdian Angel. You must remember,Adam,how you mocked your sister for that.Refusing point blank her wishes and insisting on calling her Sarah. > 0

6/30/05 Gary Seaman of Croyden
Adam Fairclough;Siabreen; Alison Gelfand;Marion Wi
You could at least have the decency to reply to my texts. Strange,I thought the Childstealer was a better judge of character! 0

6/30/05 Adam Fairclough UEA Norwich: Better day coming...
Adam Fairclough. Siabreen has turned you into a Liar. Better day coming...for Grace and Roy. Better day coming...when people find out what youve been doing. Better day coming...when God takes action against you and your family. 0

6/30/05 Adam Fairclough UEA Norwich: Siabreen
Siabreen blamed an incident of childhood abuse for the way she behaved. Siabreen WAS the ABUSER. 0

6/29/05 Adam Fairclough UEA Norwich
Eight years ago,this August,I left my partner,Siabreen. Not because Id met someone else. Not because I was having a mid-life crisis. But,because of Siabreen's violence towards me! Siabreen then lied to Social Services,the Courts and both our Families. I was not the violent one.All I did was leave my Abusive Partner. Yet I have not seen my daughter Grace,in 8 years. I first met Sarah Jane Fairclou> 0

6/28/05 Gary Seaman of Croyden: Alison Fairclough Gelfand of Merrick,New York
Please allow Grace to see her Father! You know its the right thing to do! Grace+I were communicating before her mother died. Please allow us contact. For ALL our sakes. 0

6/28/05 American Studies Norwich University: Gary Seaman of Croyden
You were crying when you rang me,asking to give you and the Fairclough family space to grieve Siabreen. Well,I did. You snatched the phone from Grace when she was telling me of her mothers death that morning. Now,you and the Fairclough's arrange for Grace to be removed from the UK behind her Fathers back. No communication only lies from Adam. I begged you for information about my Daughters well-be> 0

6/28/05 Professor Adam Fairclough UEA
Professor Adam Fairclough UEA Allow Grace to see her Father. You teach Civil Liberties at Norwich, yet deny Grace and Roy theirs. Are you acting like this because of your drinking? I allowed you to stay in my house when you fell apart. I helped you and you repay me by abusing my daughter, lieing to the Courts and Social Services. How can you use the Courts to keep a Father and Daughter apart? > 0
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Its two years since Siabreen died.

Im still waiting for the Fairclough's to contact me with news of my daughter, Grace.

Yes, they have lost a sister.

They have and still are, conspiring so I lose a daughter !

My thoughts of Siabreen are not ones I would like to have right now.
The pain I feel does not allow for sympathy.
Nor even Love.

Yet, I am truly glad I no longer hate.
That is a start in my healing around this issue.
Soon, I know, I will be able to think of Siabreen fondly.
That includes you, Adam and Alison.

When are you going to start the healing process ?

Anniversary of 7/7

It was the anniversary yesterday of 7/7.
When Londons public transport was bombed.

It is the second anniversary of Siabreen's death on 11/7.
Time goes so fast.