Cyngor Gwynedd Council - Fail After Fail After Fail.

I notice Cyngor Gwynedd appear not to have updated their website and still make no mention that one of the cases that they reference has been ongoing for years.

Earlier post here – https://gwyneddsfailingcouncil.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/gwynedd-council-services-scrutiny-needs.html

First contact with the Gwynedd Children and Supporting Families Team was in 2007/8 and was appalling.

The family had to endure missed appointments, staff that were untrained and abusive comments from those involved in the child’s care.

MSBP and poor parenting were all thrown at the family.

One so called professional, Dawn Wimpory, failed to diagnose the child and so many years have been wasted because of it.

Perhaps you should have tried engaging him with music therapy, Dawn ?

That would have taken longer than the 20 minute consultation you gave the child. 

A comment from one of the service managers in a review meeting “If he was my child…..” led to the manager going off sick when the Independent Investigators tried to interview him for an explanation.

An illness that lasted for months and so the report was published without him being interviewed.

The report does mention Llyr Ap Rhisiart’s absence and the fact that when he does finally return from illness he would not be in the same job.

But the question remains, Mr Ap Rhisiart.

What would you have done with the child who has Autism, PDA and other complex issues if he was yours ?

Someone even suggested clearing the child’s bedroom and locking them in.
The child was 7 years old.

The Investigators found 16 points of complaint and bad practise – including lost correspondence and files – all upheld.

That was in 2010 and nothing has changed. In fact, the situation is far worse.

So I say again to Cyngor Gwynedd raising a complaint does not make people unreasonable – it simply means that unprofessional standards and bad behaviour should always be challenged.

Gwynedd Council And Its Failed Children's Services.

Gwynedd Children And Families Department Fail.

Though the parents 2nd stage complaint against Cyngor Gwynedd Council showed serious failings within the Children and Families Department and was upheld by independent investigators in 2010 nothing has changed.

I have read through the report and noticed that many names involved back then are now ensconced as managers in Gwynedd social services, though it is not for me to say if these same people are now acting out of spite or have always been so unprofessional.

My experience working in the mental health field with dementia, learning difficulties, challenging behaviour and acquired brain injury was no use to me at all in this case and I was playing catch up for the first year learning about PDA, the boy's complex needs and gaining his trust.

I stood back and watched as first the Council got in contact and after discussions agreed that support may be available and a social worker would be assigned. Everyone was wary because of the behaviour of social services in the past but it was agreed that help towards social skills and integration was more important.

A social worker was allocated and a support worker was granted. Unfortunately the support was still not provided and so in desperation a solicitor was contacted and only then was a support worker assigned.

The first social worker was replaced by a second , this time from Children and Families, as the disability team would not assess, due to the boy having too high an IQ. This social worker introduced himself as having no experience of Autism and was not a disability social worker but said he was there to help.

He did not endear himself to anyone over the next period by comments such as -

'We are really doing the education departments job' 

'What to do you want a core assessment for? I don't see what use it will be, can you explain to me how you think it will benefit *****? '

'I'm a very busy man you know' (when he failed to phone back)

'This service is really for people that need a social worker'


But he was all my partner had to work with and the fact the boy was, finally, going to get help with socialisation and independent living skills was enough for me to still my misgivings and keep my professional mouth shut.

The help and support that eventually began was anything but.

Communication was poor and I mean mono-syllabic from the support worker when asked for feedback. One day he just grunted at me when I tried to engage him.
Different days different times and sessions that were arranged with less than 24 hours notice - and sessions were strictly on a take it or lose it basis.

The stress of dealing with this 'care support' had a knock on effect in dealing with other aspects of care and we all suffered for a period.

So a letter of complaint was sent to Support Services at Cyngor Gwynedd Children and Families Dept asking for continuity of times and reminding them that due to the boy's complexities the family had no idea of where he was taken, what subjects were discussed or how he engaged with others if at all and simply a plea for feedback to help us to help him progress with socialisation.

It is called team work and every professional in the care field will recognise its importance for the child and family - except, it appears, at the Children and Families Department of Gwynedd council.

A letter was duly received apologising for blah blah blah and informing us that we had to ask the social worker to ask the support worker to communicate with us re the sessions !!!! But they did take on board our need for certain times to avoid clashing with the child's education.

To be fair we were allowed the same time and day every week which removed so much stress and I am grateful for that. Imagine being grateful for a regular weekly slot from a children and families service(!) but I truly was.

The feedback from the support worker however did NOT materialise.
(Another social worker was asked further down the line again if we could have some feedback - again nothing)

In fact we did receive reports written by the support worker eventually. We asked Social Services for their file on the family and they were included. So much interesting information (and mis-information)  But that is for future posts.

My misgivings and worry about what I considered unprofessional and totally unacceptable behaviour turned to anger when I returned home and found my wife crying. She had had a phone conversation with the social worker which had caused her upset.

Then after I listened to the recording of the conversation I became quite upset, too.

A meeting between the social worker and my wife had been arranged but I wanted to be there for support so I emailed Cyngor Gwynedd Customer Care to raise my concerns about their social worker, Jamie Haydon and cancel the meeting.

My email and first contact with Cyngor Gwynedd Council was dated 29th Feb, 2016.

More on Gwynedd Council here -  https://gwyneddsfailingcouncil.blogspot.co.uk/

Trying To Live With PDA.

Pathological Demand Avoidance.
Three letters, three words many many headaches.

My partners son suffers from the syndrome.
With PDA it is not just the child who suffers.

I witness with incredulity the verbal and sometimes violent abuse my partner puts up with.
The boy has a vocabulary far greater than anyone i have ever met - he is 13.
Sadly that is too often used to belittle, scorn and insult others - mostly the mother, again.

He has never gone to school - my partner has taught him to an incredible level.
A head full of information and facts he retains courtesy of a photographic memory - i believe.
Let down by so called experts in the mental health field - she has soldiered on.

Her patience with her sons high levels of anxiety and need to control all situations is inspiring.
She has given up her own life for his.
I acknowledge you, lady.

And thank god for books and lego.

PDA - A Parents Tale.

One of the hardest things, that I have found as a parent of a PDA child, is the remarkable persona that Mollie can play of a totally compliant child to other people.

This has often left me looking as if I have ‘Munchausen by proxy’ to other people who are then even more bemused by the rapid change in non-compliant behaviour that is directed towards me. I thought that I would try to explore this feature of PDA in this post.

Children with PDA have a remarkable ability to role play a persona that they know others will find acceptable.

Mollie is fully aware of what constitutes acceptable and compliant behaviour and so when she is in a new situation or with new people she can play this role by suppressing her true personality, thoughts and anxieties.

The stress of holding in her true personality and complying with demands in a new situation with new people means that Mollie is like a pressure cooker just waiting to go off.

When she sees me or her dad that pressure cooker then rapidly expels all of that pent-up and well contained steam. We are her release valve, her comfort blanket, her emotional sponge and the only people that she is truly comfortable being herself with.

Mollie knows that she is allowed to relieve all of that pressure safe in the knowledge that she will still be loved.
Some children are so adapt at their ability to role play this persona and to fly under the radar at school that parents are left with an impossible task. Extreme and challenging behaviour is exhibited at home when the pressures of the day are released on to parents but there is no evidence of this extreme and challenging behaviour for the school to report. This can often lead to Doctors and Teachers wrongly assuming that the difficulties lie with the parents.

I was very lucky to a certain extent because Mollie’s ability to hold it in would only last for a certain period of time and then her explosive and challenging behaviour would also emerge at school. The school was baffled by her and nothing that they did worked which really helped to back me up with anyone that thought it was a parenting issue. However, what was interesting is the pattern that the behaviour took. Weeks of good behaviour would be followed by weeks of challenging behaviour and it seemed to alternate between school and home. A good day at school would result in a huge release of pressure the minute she came out of the school gates or an explosive day at school would result in a much calmer child for me. It was as if it just had to be released somewhere and to someone on a daily basis.

I have recently been able to understand and empathize the exhausting process that our children must feel from constantly being in role play.
When Mollie and I are together we are both in role-play. I am playing the perfect, bouncy, cheery voiced ‘kids TV Presenter’ to try to keep her anxieties low. Simultaneously Mollie is playing the role of cute little girl, baby voice, calling my mummy as a younger child would instead of mum, fluttering her eye lashes and so on. We are both mimicking the personas of people that we have seen on TV and we are both doing it to keep the other one calm.

However this is exhausting and it has really given me an insight into how hard it is for children with PDA to keep their true personalities in for any length of time.

Pretending to be somebody that is not naturally you will only have a certain shelf life. The role cannot be maintained indefinably and sooner or later it becomes impossible to keep it up.

Mollie can sustain her role with other people but the more time she spends with them the more likely it is for the pretense to slip.

Mollie can often sustain her role for several weeks when she starts a new school or meets new social/outreach workers leading Professionals that are new to her to believe that she can control herself, her behaviour, her need to control and to avoid demands.

It is important to remember that this ability is a temporary phase that she will be unable to sustain long-term. Anyone and Everyone who spends substantial periods of time with Mollie rather than the odd visit or occasional meeting does eventually experience all aspects and dimensions to her extremely complex character.

When Mollie begins to struggle to hold in her inner self and she can feel the cracks beginning to show on her exterior persona she retreats back to the safety of home.

This is why she is a persistent school refuser and a recluse. She does have pride and self-awareness and she does not want the outside world to witness the loss of pride and self-awareness that a meltdown brings.

This sense of pride and self-awareness was late to develop and it is impaired and not what you would expect from a nine-year old child but it is there never the less.

To be in a permanent state of role play is impossible to keep up and exhausting and I should know because I just can’t keep my ‘Kids TV Presenter’ persona up for anything other than a short spurt. Mollie is a far more accomplished and effective role player than I will ever be.

I hope that this post has helped to develop a little bit more understanding and insight into why children with PDA can appear to behave so differently in different settings. Each child with PDA is an individual and some children may be so good at maintaining their role play persona that their true difficulties are never even noticed or acknowledged at school. This makes it impossible for parents to be listened to or taken seriously by the Professionals that they will be seeking help from.

Please spread awareness of PDA and help me to reach as many people as possible with this blog.

http://shiggs55.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/she-doesnt-behave-like-that-with-me-arghhhhhhhh-oh-how-i-want-to-scream/