On Tuesday, I discovered where my ex partner, Siabreen, is buried.
The knowledge has caused turmoil with my emotions; also with my body.
The glands of my groin are swollen and sometimes painful.
My thoughts are full of bile, then swing to our LOVE remembered.
It has been an amazing roller-coaster of rediscovered (suppressed) memories and feelings, beautiful, sad and sometimes hateful.
When she first died, I had the thought of desecrating the grave. Payback for the things she had said and done.
My anger was very strong, July 2004.
Now,it is different. I AM different.
It is my intention to visit her grave tomorrow (saturday).
I can feel the sadness welling up even now.
What will I do ?
Cry like a baby.
Shout at her and God.
My prayer is that I FORGIVE her completely
and am finally able to release her.
A conclusion to our most amazing journey together, which started 18 years ago.
Producing our daughter, Grace, as proof that fear and medical conditions need not stand in the way of dreams !
Friday, March 02, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
The (B)ankers at the Royal Bank of Scotland.
I have always trusted Banks.
Over the years,I have sometimes handed over more money than I actually wanted to pay in.The cashiers have always pointed out my mistake,bless them.
Just after Christmas,I had cause to pay some money into the Royal Bank of Scotland via a paying-in book.
The young man took the book,checked the details and counted the money.Something felt strange and I counted along with him.I had given him £5 too much.
I said my apologies and told him of my error.
"No.No mistake",the cashier replied. He even counted it again for me."All correct".
Luckily,the paying-in book showed only one £5 to be paid.I had given him two.
Without a word,he handed me the £5 back.
I was dismayed.It was obvious he knew and was trying it on.Twat !
My thought was-how many people like me have been conned ? I never get my money out till I get to the cashier and then fumble quickly because of the queues. I see older people struggle too.
Now,I no longer trust Banks,especially this particular Royal Bank of Scotland.
Over the years,I have sometimes handed over more money than I actually wanted to pay in.The cashiers have always pointed out my mistake,bless them.
Just after Christmas,I had cause to pay some money into the Royal Bank of Scotland via a paying-in book.
The young man took the book,checked the details and counted the money.Something felt strange and I counted along with him.I had given him £5 too much.
I said my apologies and told him of my error.
"No.No mistake",the cashier replied. He even counted it again for me."All correct".
Luckily,the paying-in book showed only one £5 to be paid.I had given him two.
Without a word,he handed me the £5 back.
I was dismayed.It was obvious he knew and was trying it on.Twat !
My thought was-how many people like me have been conned ? I never get my money out till I get to the cashier and then fumble quickly because of the queues. I see older people struggle too.
Now,I no longer trust Banks,especially this particular Royal Bank of Scotland.
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